Feminism | Posted by UnpopularPerspective on 06/19/2013

On Having Big Boobs: My Anatomy Has Nothing To Do With My Morality

As a kid, I was taught to believe many restricting things about my body, but one stuck with me more than others: the bigger your boobs, the better — but they better be covered. I accepted that. Then, out of nowhere, I got boobs (at the age of fifteen, I now have have triple D’s). And everything changed.

For a long time, I hated them. My friends teased me about them, I got unwanted attention, and I couldn’t (and still can’t) find a bra that fits. But over the years, I’ve discovered some positive things about breasts. They aren’t just objects for men to drool over and indulge in as they please (although that’s how they’re almost exclusively portrayed by the media): they are a friggin miracle that nourish and feed young babies (if you choose to have babies). I learned that boobs are actually a pretty awesome part of women’s bodies — just not in the way society generally portrays them. So, I try (and am still trying) to love my boobs. But it’s things like the googly eyes of guys, the jealous and/or judging looks of other girls, and the constant “cover yourself up” I hear from adults that threatens to destroy my boob-loving efforts.

For example, today in school my teacher told me to “cover the girls.” Just like that, all the confidence I had in the natural beauty of my body was gone, quickly replaced by humiliation and insecurity. I immediately grabbed my jacket and zipped it up, even though I loved the shirt I was wearing. I was angry: who was she to tell me to cover up? Why are breasts so evil? But I know the answer: sexism in our society. It’s a huge double standard: “Have big boobs, but be modest about it or you’re a slut” our slut-shaming society tells us. Breasts are a completely innocent body part, yet by having them I get so much unwanted sexual attention and am sexualized.

Breasts also play a huge role in my body image issues. I want to love my body, all 150 pounds of it. But how can I do that when people are constantly punishing me for it? This is why I am so confused on this subject. I proudly flaunt my awesome body (boobs included) and I am automatically a slut, or a person of low morals. What the hell? My morals are friggin sky-high. My morals chill on the top of Mt. Everest all like “Yo, challenge me.” Yet because I have big boobs, people judge me and question them? Screw that.

I like to look on the positive side of things. I want to be a happy person. But I cannot–will not–let people judge me like that. I hate it. And then there’s the pressure to just roll with it, like if I dare defend myself, I’m overreacting or am not being “nice.” What would happen if I challenged my teacher and said: “Nah, the girls like some air”? What would happen if I petitioned the school principal to change the dress code because I don’t want to be confined by sexist, old-fashioned rules to keep my breasts covered? Bam: I’m a bad person, an overreacter, a complainer. My parents say “Just cover up,” my peers say “Don’t be such a slut” and I’m left with a crappy reputation based on a part of my body that I can’t (and don’t want to) change.

I want to have a big body, big boobs, and not be judged for it — to not be treated like my anatomy has anything to do with my personality or morality. I want to live in peace. Is that too much to ask?

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  • Joe @ at 11:36 am, June 20th, 2013

    Males also run into something very similar but it is never discussed in the same vein of conversation.

    If you’re not entirely certain what I’m talking about then google any comedian talking about placing a book in their lap.

    This is not an example of victimizing women, it’s just how life is. In the same way having an erection for a guy is very natural and not controlled by the conscious mind. However, should you have an erection in the middle of class or an office meeting then you’re in for a world of ridicule. Then imagine that same kid standing in the middle of the class and telling a teacher, “No, I won’t hide it – I’m proud of it!” Hilarious? Yes. Productive? No.

    Large breasts being an point of ridicule or ostracization is, when you are personally or emotionally removed, no different than rich or poor kids being picked on for their straying from the middle of the road. High School experiences, although valid in their context ( high school ), do not translate well into the post high school world. People mature and get more pressing problems to concern themselves with.

  • UnpopularPerspective @ at 9:53 pm, June 20th, 2013

    Do young boys walk around with constant erections, being an absolutely permanent part of them all the time? Are erect penises of young boys major subjects of the media? Do teen girls gawk at teenage boys’ crotches (due to society’s hype around erections) as males do breasts? Are boys victims of early sexualization, bombarded with double standards about their erections? How can you possibly compare these situations? A more accurate comparison would be with girls bleeding through their clothes while on their periods, an embarrassing childhood experience that isn’t as challenging when “People mature and get more pressing problems to concern themselves with”. Once young girls grow up and become women, their breasts are still there, open for society’s judgement and discussion. How ever you put it (“victimizing”, shaming), the fact remains. Females still feel like shit as a result of underlying societal standards and expectations concerning their breasts.

  • Amanda @ at 9:26 am, June 21st, 2013

    I am going to have to disagree with Joe that having an erection is the same has being considered a slut because you have big boobs. This IS an example of victimizing women. This is society saying – your curves must equate with who you are as a person. I do not see that happening to men at all.

    As a teenager, I went through the same thing – having a D cup by the time I was a freshman in high school. Having people make assumptions about who you are fundamentally as a person based on your boobs is extremely rough at that age. It wasn’t until I was in my 20s that I finally accepted my body.

    And unfortunately, people do not grow up. I still have comments made about my figure and what it must mean – even as a married woman with a law degree. Sometimes all people still see is your chest.

    For Unpopular Perspective – hang in there! Love yourself and know that you are better than the bullshit.

  • Jessica @ at 10:28 am, June 21st, 2013

    Comparing an man’s erection to a woman’s chest is like comparing a minor cold to a woman’s chest. You’re comparing a temporary condition (sexual arousal) to a part of a woman’s body that, depending on size, can have major social implications and affect a woman’s (or girl’s) self-concept in a very major way…and even “covering up the girls” won’t really hide them. Not only that, but you are further cementing the author’s point that the sexuality implied by simply having large breasts is absolutely ridiculous and has non-high school society implications.

    The article may written from the context of a high-school experience, but when you experience adults in your high school comment or gawk at a large rack, it’s got a lot more to do with society as a whole than you’re giving it credit for, Joe.

    I got boobs when I was 13. They were significant enough that my mother’s friends commented on how mine were bigger than my mom’s, and my mom was FIXATED on making sure they were covered up, making sure that the things I was wearing didn’t show the world that there were boobs. At high school and middle school, and even in the constant absence of cleavage, they were always a part of my consciousness. Swimming in gym class? Jumping jacks? Looking down and realizing that the height of the table I was sitting at made it so it looked like I was resting my tits on the table? (Hella awkward.)

    Shirts that I thought were cute were generally off limits– even if the neckline was high enough, there was always some sort of logo that spread across the front like a big neon sign pointing to “the girls.” And even shirts that had nothing on them– they were still on my body, and my body had boobs.

    Joe, I’m sure you mean well by trying to reduce the author’s experience to little more than high school drama that “everyone” experiences (and even if you don’t, I’ll give you the BOTD.)

    However, the rejection of such experience by insisting that, “no, it has nothing to to with the fact that you’re a girl” — when in fact it has EVERYTHING to do with that the author is female with boobs and is a very accurate reflection of what many people like her do experience, and that yes, that experience is derived from ridiculous social attitudes towards women and their sexuality– is ignorance at best, and at worst, disenfranchisement of an important voice that you simply don’t want to hear.

  • Dara @ at 11:43 pm, June 28th, 2013

    This is so incredibly helpful to me. I’ve always had the exact same problem (literally the same size) and people have told me I look “easy” because I have big boobs. What sense could that possibly make? How can one be “easy” due to a body part they cannot control? And even if I were easy, it would have nothing to do with my boobs and you could not shame me because of my easiness or my boobs. I honestly feel that confidence is a huge issue for me because of the fact that they’re so huge that I feel that they’re off putting.

  • Taylor @ at 9:20 pm, July 1st, 2013

    I don’t even really think I need to respond to Joe as he’s already been blown out of the water by some very eloquent and intelligent people; however, I will say this: Incomparable and yes, very very ignorant. I would just like to say that even women without large chests feel uncomfortable in them due to the sexualization of this nonsexual body part. As horrible as this might sound, I was horrified when I started developing and felt ashamed due to society’s double standardizing message. Thanks for writing about this.

  • UnpopularPerspective @ at 6:20 pm, July 13th, 2013

    Thanks for all the positive feedback! It’s incredibly encouraging to know there are some people that relate to this issue.

  • Katie @ at 12:36 am, October 1st, 2013

    So glad to hear someone talking about this! I’m 22, 110lbs, 34D. If I had a dollar for every time someone referenced my boobs on a daily basis, I could at least pay for one semester at my school. I have big boobs, I get it. NOW GET OVER IT! And as if the comments from random men passing on the street weren’t bad enough (We’ve got a rack on that one!), I’ve found that my female friends are just as bad. While walking towards one of my friends in the dining hall, she always puts her hands up to her chest and makes a jiggling motion, in reference to the way my boobs bounce when I walk. Now just what am I supposed to do about that? Another girl regularly refers to me by the ultra-charming nickname of, “Tits.” Cute, right?

    To the OP: I loved your comment about being expected to have large boobs, but also to be modest about them. Well guess what, I’m 100% happy with the size of my breasts and I commend you for celebrating your body as well!

  • David @ at 5:20 pm, December 25th, 2013

    I think the best answer is my answer of course…..you can’t control how people react or what people think or feel…..being that is the case you are not responsible for “there issues and hang ups about your body” the only thing you can control is your reaction so stop caring about other peoples thoughts and opinions because they are “there issues and not yours” with that in mind I would say do what makes you happy and don’t worry about what they say

  • JustAGirl @ at 11:28 am, May 3rd, 2014

    I know people are probably going to tell me I’m wrong but here’s what I think: If you have big boobs and have your top open and somebody comments on it, ignore them. But if it really hurts you, has a psychological impact on you, cover them up. You cant have it your way all the time. Sure, you can be proud of who you are and how your body looks (which you should. There’s nothing bad about having larger boobs) but if you get comments because you have them on show and you don’t like it then do up your shirt, zip up your jacket. You cant change the way your body is. If you get comments even when they are covered then you’ll just have to suck it up. You cant change the way you look and you have to live with it. I’m very tall and I get people mentioning it to me but that’s tough shit for me. Sorry, that’s just my opinion.

  • Twentieth Century Fox @ at 12:01 am, October 23rd, 2015

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